Monday, February 05, 2007

Serenity NOW!? It is Possible

You’re heading toward the cash register and glance at your side only to notice your child is not there. Retracing your steps you realize he’s about three paces behind you ogling a new video game. You watch the scenario play out in your head before you even open your mouth to say the game is not in your budget for today. When you tell him to follow, he immediately drops to the floor and lets the tantrum begin!

Children are a blessing and a joy, but there are days when they know exactly which button to push! It’s typically on a day when time is short, things are in chaos, tempers are flaring, the head is pounding and that light at the end of the tunnel is barely recognizable (meaning there are still several hours till bedtime.) How does one find their way back to a peaceful existence when there’s soft music and a date with Calgon™ waiting in your mind’s eye? The Universe has you covered, as always. You just have to focus and remember the basics:

First, even though your child just pulled the mother of all tantrums, it’s still in the past. How you handle the tantrum is the only present. The past and the future do not matter.

Second, take notice of how you feel. Are you angry, embarrassed, or heartbroken? Those feelings are all negative and focusing on them or reacting to them will only bring more of the same feelings. So nip them in the bud.

Third, remember that even though it’s their behavior that was a no-no, it’s your behavior that will escalate or diffuse the situation. Think of the parent who made a point in the store of pulling a full-fledged, down on the floor, screaming tantrum of her own. The parent was overjoyed at her own ingenuity, but the child was so embarrassed, the incident was never repeated – by either!

Fourth, sometimes you have to dig a little deeper to get back to that loveable place. You know, like thinking of how angelic they look when, they’re…er, sleeping, or remembering a super kind, completely selfless act – no matter when it occurred.

Fifth, remember that forgiveness is necessary in order to get you back to being who you are. The anger, resentment, and animosity moves you further from your place of alignment which only enhances the negative emotions and keeps that headache pounding. Think of how lousy you feel, physically, when you’re upset. Is it worth it? (Besides, it’s almost worth it to make them wonder what you’re smiling about, especially when they know they’re guilty as sin!)

Sixth, practice this as often as necessary so that it becomes second nature. The trick is to practice it during ideal situations, so that you’re accustomed to the way it feels to maintain your vibrational harmony when you’re stressed to the limit.

This is not a free-pass by any stretch. It is simply a way to regain or maintain your composure and re-direct a situation that has the potential to spiral out of control. So, what did this mom do? She counted to five (ten was too long with the decibel levels such as they were), and then started talking to him in a normal tone – he had to struggle to hear her through his yelling. She calmly told him that the rest of the items she intended to purchase were being left at the register if he did not immediately quiet down, get up and come along. Did it work? Yep! He looked her in the eyes and knew she meant it. She was not embarrassed – his actions were his actions, she was consistent with her approach – tantrums were not acceptable, but did not buy into the drama of it all. In the end she diffused the situation, did not buy into blackmail by embarrassment, and taught him that she loved him and would remain consistent despite the circumstance.

Eva Gregory, master coach, speaker and author of The Feel Good Guide To Prosperity has instructed thousands on the Laws of Attraction in person, on the radio and in dozens of teleconference training seminars and programs. She is the author of several books and e-books and has co-developed several telephone-based and internet-based training courses on the Laws of Attraction. Her most popular program to date is her Leading Edge Living One Year Success Program. Eva is regularly featured on radio and in the media and is a recognized authority on the Laws of Attraction. To learn more about her products and services, visit Leading Edge Coaching.

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Blogger Annette Pieper said...

Great blog. It is a great reminder that you are in control of you and your reaction. I now get these dramas played out in teenage form, yet the way to get back to inner serenity is still the same, just the tantrums are different.

Annette Pieper
Explore the Power of Possibilities

1:03 PM  

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